absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
