the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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