Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
