sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
