wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize