Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
