so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's Friday. Sex?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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