Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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