If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
