we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
