What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
