Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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