Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize