He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
