These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
