I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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