try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
