All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
