you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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