Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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