I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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