wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just tell him i said nine months
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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