I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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