My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
