It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
