Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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