I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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