totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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