Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
