The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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