She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
