I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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