You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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