Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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