not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wish you could order shots online.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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