Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
