i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
