i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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