Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
