he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
