I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
