this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
