dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
