The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Barsexuality is the new black.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize