Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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