Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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