Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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