God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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