can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize