Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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