wat bout pragnant strippers??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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