i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize