You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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