I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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