garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The adults are the big ones right?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
