i would punch a child for taco bell
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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