I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
