Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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