She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
