I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
