Dual....:-)
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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