i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
