My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
