my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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