your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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