Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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