Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
