I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Panties = found
Randomize
