If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
