"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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